Definitions

ABDICATE: to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the
middle.

BALDERDASH: a rapidly receding hairline.

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: The only creatures you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

CIRCUMVENT: the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

COFFEE: a person who is coughed upon.

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

ESPLANADE: to attempt an explanation while drunk.

FLABBERGASTED: appalled over how much weight you have gained.

FLATULENCE: the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a
steamroller.

FRISBEETARIANISM: The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and
gets stuck there.

GARGOYLE: an olive-flavored mouthwash.

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

LYMPH: to walk with a lisp.

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

NEGLIGENT: describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in
your nightie.

OYSTER: a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

POKEMON: A Jamaican proctologist.

RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.

RECTITUDE: the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately
before he examines you.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

TESTICLE: a humorous question on an exam.

TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.

WILLY-NILLY: impotent

WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines!